Friday, July 22, 2011

7-22-11 Keep the hand busy and the mind will follow (hopefully)

I have been crocheting and knitting since having the baby on June 19. I have had a hard time all my life with depression and the delivery just put everything so over the top. It would have spilt over anyway, even if I wasn't pregnant. I know now that it wasn't just postpartum depression, though I had all the signs. My regular clinical depression overshadowed everything and I just happen to get sick after delivery: shakes, chills, food aversion, diarrhea, insomnia, crying, and probably some that I have forgotten in the 1 month since delivery. I put it all here because maybe it can help someone else. Though recommended that I not be a surrogate again, I can't help but disagree, surrogacy being something unique that I can do and others can't among other reasons.

So, back to the knitting and crocheting...there is a very talented woman named Christina whose patterns I purchased on and whose store name is "Affordable Wonders". Her patterns are the ones I used to make the items in the photos here. The exception is the "Army cap" and that is my own design that I "MacGuyvered" : ) I have also made other caps, wash cloths, and a blanket too. Hoping that if I kept my hands busy, my mind would be distracted from all of the negative self talk that has become automatic for so long.

Cognitive therapy is what I am doing now. It is different from all the past therapies in that I am learning that I can talk back to my negative self talk and that I can learn to be positive and that exercise is crucial to my getting better (though I still feel guilty about not doing it every day). Dr. A. says that walking 3 times a week is great.

1 comment:

  1. Your sets look fabulous. You are a rockstar! not because of the crocheting but because of your selflessness! Being a surrogate is such a wonderful gift. I'm glad you found a way to get through the depression. I also use crochet to get me through some personal obstacles (of course now my hands are killing me but a small price to pay)